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Sun, Sep. 30th, 2007, 10:02 pm
NOISE MASSIVE

Haven't been here in quite a long time.

Mostly hanging out at Warren Ellis' CLUB OF MARS.

Started the fun of TWITTER, too.

And there's the family-blog, known as SPEED SQUAD SIX.

And, once in a while, something gets posted at ELASTIC-SUPER-SPEED.

Off to look for a job!  Unemployment is inspiring!

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didja hear RADIOHEAD is self-releasing a new album on October 10th?!?  Whee!

Sun, Apr. 1st, 2007, 11:20 am
SUMMONS

Sat, Feb. 24th, 2007, 04:31 pm
THE ROBOTS SET LOOSE

* In case of a nuclear attack, the preservation of records is essential.  Duck and cover.

* At the end of the day, in a dream that's divine...tell me the words that I'm longing to know...

* When do you have enough money?  Why do you keep working for it, when you have more than you need?  Why does Bill Gates still draw a paycheck?  Why do the oil executives still get bonuses?  What are they going to do with it?  Is it some kind of empire-building thing?  Are they accumulating wealth and power as a way to ensure a future for their heirs?  I really just don't get it...  Instead of being mad at the oil execs for their ridiculous paychecks, I would just like to hear their explanations as to what they're doing with them...  Why is everybody scrambling for money?  What is it for?

* On my word of honor, you can trust me with your heart...and I pledge mine to you, it's yours my whole life through...

* Again...why does Bill Gates still get a paycheck?  Why?

* We have a customer in the store right now who has been dubbed "The Nipple Magician".  I will let you ponder why and how he received that nickname...  Good night.

Fri, Feb. 23rd, 2007, 04:11 pm
NOW I SMELL LIKE PARAFFIN

anybody wearing a Renaissance Festival t-shirt, talking to me about KISS toys, smelling of patchouli is really just asking for it...right?

Fri, Feb. 16th, 2007, 02:53 pm
I RECALL LIGHTNING STRUCK ITSELF

* Silk is overrated, it's not so great.

* I need more tolerance for chromosomally-damaged subhumans.

* I have developed an allergy to tuna in my adulthood.  Ate it almost daily when I was a kid.  Spent several years not eating it, for no particular reason.  When I went back to it, my throat swelled up and breathing was difficult.

* You're unbelievable.  No...really.  I don't believe in you.

* I often have a nightmare where I listen to and love a Phish-like jam band called "Sublime Bilbo"...I wake up screaming every time.  The only thing that makes me feel better is cutting the words to "Marquee Moon" into the back of my hand.

* I need a self-administered morphine inhaler.

Fri, Feb. 16th, 2007, 11:12 am
BABY'S GOT A GUN!

* A customer in our store got into an argument with us about the state of music in the U.S. today.  According to him, rap/hip-hop is the cause of  much of popular music's descent into mediocrity ("all they do is steal samples"), and the only modern band that can legitimately be called ROCK is Nickelback ("they have the guitar chops, the look, and the ability to play in either huge stadiums or tiny clubs").  This argument was presented without any trace of sarcasm or irony.

* Due to an unpleasant experience earlier in my life, I can't even smell Jim Beam without feeling nauseous.

* Babys eine Gewehr erhalten!

* I seem to know an awful lot of people that act like, even to the point of absurdity, that they are always right...is this a normal symptom of an intelligent person?

* Max Brooks, son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft, has written a book titled "World War Z" which chronicles the human-zombie war of recent times.  It's great.

Wed, Jan. 31st, 2007, 03:13 pm
ROYAL ARRIVES

We threw this together real quick...

Check back some other time for more interesting updates...

So tired...

Fri, Jan. 26th, 2007, 03:16 pm
ZIGGY GOES TO AMERICA

WATCH THAT MAN

When I was 17 I got caught shoplifting.

TIME TRAVEL...Collapse )

The whole situation would probably be much sadder then I remember, so maybe it's better this way...


ALADDIN SANE

I carry my world on my shoulders.

TENSION...Collapse )

But then, at least (at last?) I'll have some quiet - some peace - some rest...


DRIVE-IN SATURDAY

We have big plans for this evening...

SENIOR CITIZENS...Collapse )

I know you're jealous.


PANIC IN DETROIT

Many years ago, I was driving my sister and her kids across the country.

OUTDOORSMEN...Collapse )

Some other time I'll have to tell you about the unbelievable shit that her small son took in the back seat...the shit that ended up all over EVERYTHING...the shit that still haunts my waking hours...


CRACKED ACTOR

FIGHT THE EMO...Collapse )

Eric Powell, creator of The Goon, titled one of his graphic novels "VIRTUE AND THE GRIM CONSEQUENCES THEREOF"...I love that...it sounds exactly right to me.


TIME

Ugh, "time"...who has enough time?  WHO has the time for everything?!?  WHO!!!?

DEAD TIME...Collapse )

Who has the secret?  If it's you, you better start talking goddammit!


THE PRETTIEST STAR

My wife is amazing.  I have sung her praises before, but damn...

I've told her she is the heart of our family, but I've recently realized that she is the heart of wherever she is...everything begins to pulse in rhythm to her movements, everything shines when she smiles...

ELECTRIC...Collapse )

Pregnant woman + barbed wire = political statement!


THE JEAN GENIE

We need some new slang terms for gay people.

BOWIE'S LEGACY...Collapse )

Maybe, instead, I should just come up with new slang terms for the idiot teenagers..?

"Pimples"?

"Dunderheads"?

"Fuckwits"?

oh, I got it...

"Virgins"


LADY GRINNING SOUL

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be black...

AFRICAN-AMERICOMMANDO...Collapse )

Pity, it'll probably pass.

Thu, Jan. 18th, 2007, 08:34 pm
DON'T KNOCK

Back in school...teeny bit of time is now reduced even further to no time at all...look at my kids...

BORIS (October 2006)



HELLA and SPIKE (November 2006)

Sat, Dec. 23rd, 2006, 12:09 pm
SPIDER JERUSALEM'S CABIN IN THE WOODS

(I'm simultaneously posting this to all my different spots, so if you happen to read more than one of them, don't bother...)

Lots of people I know and read about seem to be in really good places here at the end of 2006.

Unfortunately, I and my family are not included in that list.

Not to sound like I'm bitching (I'm mostly just wanting to clear it all out of my head), here's where we are (in an abbreviated, abridged form)...

1) In January, stupid woman smashed into back of our only car.  Worked out okay as we were able to get cool-ass VW Eurovan (for her and kids) and crappy little Ford (for me) as replacements.  My driving became slower and safer to reflect my new fear of getting run into from behind.

2) In July, stupid teenager spun out of control in front of me (wet road) and I ended up smashing into his car with the Ford.  The cop who showed up admitted to me he wasn't a traffic cop and didn't really know how to write an accident report.  This became important later, as stupid teenager's insurance refused to pay for my car since police report made it sound like accident was both of our faults.  My car was now all crunched and rattling as I drove.  My driving became even slower and more safe to reflect my additional new fear of other drivers' idiocy.

3) Two weeks ago, the Ford gave up the ghost.  The rattling had gotten progressively worse over the last several months and it turns out several internal things were broken - probably from the July accident.  I started driving our good friend R's brand new Nissan, since she lives with us and wasn't really using it for much.  My driving changed again to reflect my fear of damaging my friend's brand new car...by this time I was driving like an old lady with a stigmatism.

4) A week ago, while correctly and safely changing lanes, a stupid anonymous person driving twice as fast as everyone else on the road cut over into the same lane causing me to swerve suddenly to avoid hitting him (which it turns out - according to both the cop and my insurance company - is the wrong decision).  I smashed her Nissan into a concrete wall along the side of the highway.  If you're keeping score, that now leaves us with just the Eurovan.  My driving changed once again to reflect the fact that I will not be driving anymore.

5) So, here we are, a week away from school starting back up, with 1 vehicle for a 6 person family.  The boys' schools are 20 minutes from home.  My work is 45 minutes away in the opposite direction.  Of course we have no money whatsoever to buy another car.  To get everybody where they need to be, C will leave the house every morning at 7am, drive around all over the city and get home at about 10:30.  Then have to leave again at 11, getting home at 12.  Then have to leave again at 2, getting home at 3.  Then have to leave again at 6, getting home at 8:30pm.  All these trips with at least 1 kid in tow, but progressing through the day to the point of having all 3 kids in tow, and (don't forget) she's 8 months pregnant.  In between driving around, she'll have to keep up with all her own stuff - feeding the kids, cleaning the house, doing grocery shopping, maybe even getting to take a shower once in a while...

I'm not looking for your sympathy, because honestly it's not gonna help at all.

Just wondering if anybody has any ideas.

Please send me a message...elasticsuperspeed@yahoo.com

Thanks, enjoy your fucking holiday.

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