soundofspeed

Haven't been here in quite a long time.

Mostly hanging out at Warren Ellis' CLUB OF MARS.

Started the fun of TWITTER, too.

And there's the family-blog, known as SPEED SQUAD SIX.

And, once in a while, something gets posted at ELASTIC-SUPER-SPEED.

Off to look for a job!  Unemployment is inspiring!

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didja hear RADIOHEAD is self-releasing a new album on October 10th?!?  Whee!

* In case of a nuclear attack, the preservation of records is essential.  Duck and cover.

* At the end of the day, in a dream that's divine...tell me the words that I'm longing to know...

* When do you have enough money?  Why do you keep working for it, when you have more than you need?  Why does Bill Gates still draw a paycheck?  Why do the oil executives still get bonuses?  What are they going to do with it?  Is it some kind of empire-building thing?  Are they accumulating wealth and power as a way to ensure a future for their heirs?  I really just don't get it...  Instead of being mad at the oil execs for their ridiculous paychecks, I would just like to hear their explanations as to what they're doing with them...  Why is everybody scrambling for money?  What is it for?

* On my word of honor, you can trust me with your heart...and I pledge mine to you, it's yours my whole life through...

* Again...why does Bill Gates still get a paycheck?  Why?

* We have a customer in the store right now who has been dubbed "The Nipple Magician".  I will let you ponder why and how he received that nickname...  Good night.

anybody wearing a Renaissance Festival t-shirt, talking to me about KISS toys, smelling of patchouli is really just asking for it...right?

* Silk is overrated, it's not so great.

* I need more tolerance for chromosomally-damaged subhumans.

* I have developed an allergy to tuna in my adulthood.  Ate it almost daily when I was a kid.  Spent several years not eating it, for no particular reason.  When I went back to it, my throat swelled up and breathing was difficult.

* You're unbelievable.  No...really.  I don't believe in you.

* I often have a nightmare where I listen to and love a Phish-like jam band called "Sublime Bilbo"...I wake up screaming every time.  The only thing that makes me feel better is cutting the words to "Marquee Moon" into the back of my hand.

* I need a self-administered morphine inhaler.

* A customer in our store got into an argument with us about the state of music in the U.S. today.  According to him, rap/hip-hop is the cause of  much of popular music's descent into mediocrity ("all they do is steal samples"), and the only modern band that can legitimately be called ROCK is Nickelback ("they have the guitar chops, the look, and the ability to play in either huge stadiums or tiny clubs").  This argument was presented without any trace of sarcasm or irony.

* Due to an unpleasant experience earlier in my life, I can't even smell Jim Beam without feeling nauseous.

* Babys eine Gewehr erhalten!

* I seem to know an awful lot of people that act like, even to the point of absurdity, that they are always right...is this a normal symptom of an intelligent person?

* Max Brooks, son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft, has written a book titled "World War Z" which chronicles the human-zombie war of recent times.  It's great.

We threw this together real quick...

Check back some other time for more interesting updates...

So tired...

WATCH THAT MAN

When I was 17 I got caught shoplifting.

( TIME TRAVEL... )

The whole situation would probably be much sadder then I remember, so maybe it's better this way...


ALADDIN SANE

I carry my world on my shoulders.

( TENSION... )

But then, at least (at last?) I'll have some quiet - some peace - some rest...


DRIVE-IN SATURDAY

We have big plans for this evening...

( SENIOR CITIZENS... )

I know you're jealous.


PANIC IN DETROIT

Many years ago, I was driving my sister and her kids across the country.

( OUTDOORSMEN... )

Some other time I'll have to tell you about the unbelievable shit that her small son took in the back seat...the shit that ended up all over EVERYTHING...the shit that still haunts my waking hours...


CRACKED ACTOR

( FIGHT THE EMO... )

Eric Powell, creator of The Goon, titled one of his graphic novels "VIRTUE AND THE GRIM CONSEQUENCES THEREOF"...I love that...it sounds exactly right to me.


TIME

Ugh, "time"...who has enough time?  WHO has the time for everything?!?  WHO!!!?

( DEAD TIME... )

Who has the secret?  If it's you, you better start talking goddammit!


THE PRETTIEST STAR

My wife is amazing.  I have sung her praises before, but damn...

I've told her she is the heart of our family, but I've recently realized that she is the heart of wherever she is...everything begins to pulse in rhythm to her movements, everything shines when she smiles...

( ELECTRIC... )

Pregnant woman + barbed wire = political statement!


THE JEAN GENIE

We need some new slang terms for gay people.

( BOWIE'S LEGACY... )

Maybe, instead, I should just come up with new slang terms for the idiot teenagers..?

"Pimples"?

"Dunderheads"?

"Fuckwits"?

oh, I got it...

"Virgins"


LADY GRINNING SOUL

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be black...

( AFRICAN-AMERICOMMANDO... )

Pity, it'll probably pass.

Back in school...teeny bit of time is now reduced even further to no time at all...look at my kids...

BORIS (October 2006)



HELLA and SPIKE (November 2006)

(I'm simultaneously posting this to all my different spots, so if you happen to read more than one of them, don't bother...)

Lots of people I know and read about seem to be in really good places here at the end of 2006.

Unfortunately, I and my family are not included in that list.

Not to sound like I'm bitching (I'm mostly just wanting to clear it all out of my head), here's where we are (in an abbreviated, abridged form)...

1) In January, stupid woman smashed into back of our only car.  Worked out okay as we were able to get cool-ass VW Eurovan (for her and kids) and crappy little Ford (for me) as replacements.  My driving became slower and safer to reflect my new fear of getting run into from behind.

2) In July, stupid teenager spun out of control in front of me (wet road) and I ended up smashing into his car with the Ford.  The cop who showed up admitted to me he wasn't a traffic cop and didn't really know how to write an accident report.  This became important later, as stupid teenager's insurance refused to pay for my car since police report made it sound like accident was both of our faults.  My car was now all crunched and rattling as I drove.  My driving became even slower and more safe to reflect my additional new fear of other drivers' idiocy.

3) Two weeks ago, the Ford gave up the ghost.  The rattling had gotten progressively worse over the last several months and it turns out several internal things were broken - probably from the July accident.  I started driving our good friend R's brand new Nissan, since she lives with us and wasn't really using it for much.  My driving changed again to reflect my fear of damaging my friend's brand new car...by this time I was driving like an old lady with a stigmatism.

4) A week ago, while correctly and safely changing lanes, a stupid anonymous person driving twice as fast as everyone else on the road cut over into the same lane causing me to swerve suddenly to avoid hitting him (which it turns out - according to both the cop and my insurance company - is the wrong decision).  I smashed her Nissan into a concrete wall along the side of the highway.  If you're keeping score, that now leaves us with just the Eurovan.  My driving changed once again to reflect the fact that I will not be driving anymore.

5) So, here we are, a week away from school starting back up, with 1 vehicle for a 6 person family.  The boys' schools are 20 minutes from home.  My work is 45 minutes away in the opposite direction.  Of course we have no money whatsoever to buy another car.  To get everybody where they need to be, C will leave the house every morning at 7am, drive around all over the city and get home at about 10:30.  Then have to leave again at 11, getting home at 12.  Then have to leave again at 2, getting home at 3.  Then have to leave again at 6, getting home at 8:30pm.  All these trips with at least 1 kid in tow, but progressing through the day to the point of having all 3 kids in tow, and (don't forget) she's 8 months pregnant.  In between driving around, she'll have to keep up with all her own stuff - feeding the kids, cleaning the house, doing grocery shopping, maybe even getting to take a shower once in a while...

I'm not looking for your sympathy, because honestly it's not gonna help at all.

Just wondering if anybody has any ideas.

Please send me a message...elasticsuperspeed@yahoo.com

Thanks, enjoy your fucking holiday.

Went to see THE PLOT TO BLOW UP THE EIFFEL TOWER tonight.  It's their final tour, and a good friend got me in for free, so why not?

Two local bands opened...

GOD'S TEMPLE OF FAMILY DELIVERANCE
A deep, black oubliette filled with stoned, angry things.

And the reason for this post...

BLADES
Four nondescript guys with a bass, 2 guitars, and drums (oh the drums!).  This is the sound of the slick desolation of Houston's outskirts, a place boasting equal numbers of alligators and armadillos.  Melodic and beautiful oil refinery rock-n-roll with a hammer hidden behind its back.  Like something unseen biting you.  Like wandering the aisles of a broken down convenience store after midnight, yellow lights making your eyes itch while the smells of burnt matches and Lysol hang in the air.  Like an unexplained adrenaline and coffee buzz at 2 in the afternoon.  Instrumental without being sleepy or boring, unpredictable while remaining accessible.  On Halloween the guys in Blades dress up like zombies...every single year.  Watch a horror movie, drink half a beer and eat a vegetarian cheeseburger, go for a drive alone, and listen to Blades.

You should check out this guy's tattoo skills...and not just 'cause he's my younger brother...

At 4:51pm today (Wednesday October 18th 2006), I counted the number of people in the store (7) and assigned a descriptor to each...

Bear in mind this is me trying to be honest, not exaggerating or mean...

The results...

1) ANGRY

2) LONELY

3) MENTALLY DEFICIENT

4) SELF-LOATHING

5) SEXUALLY DEVIANT

6) SICKLY

7) UNWASHED

So, anyone not living in Houston, probably doesn't really get just how inundated we are with pro-Bush support and/or general right-side idiocy.

For example, an AM talk radio station recently bought a bunch of billboards around town and plastered them with the slogan, "LIBERALS HATE IT!"  (Meaning, you want listeners that revel in things other people hate?!?  And, just exactly how do you know the 'liberals' hate you?  Did you ask them?  Did you wander around looking for people with 'liberal' badges?  Isn't saying something like that just like being the comedian who's constantly telling you how WILD and CRAZY he is?  Are those guys EVER wild and crazy..?)

So, anyway, it's all getting under my skin.

As I was driving along today, I see an SUV with its rear end covered in flag stickers and 'SUPPORT THE TROOPS' nooses...I mean ribbons...and other 'I'D GO DOWN ON W'-style bumper proclamations.

And right in the middle of the hoopla was this one...



I found this morbidly hilarious.  It is exactly the arrogant, provocative kind of attitude that MAKES the rest of the world hate Americans.  It's the exact same thing as AK-47 waving guys burning an American flag in the streets of Tehran.  What if your little old momma's heart surgery was botched and she died twitching on the table, and as the nurse was informing you of this you see her heart surgeon high-fiving his buddies in the next room...wouldn't you get a little mad?  Don't you think the friends and family of the millions of people that have been blown up kinda already know your notion of 'peace'?

Anyway, as I came up beside the truck I got a little in front of him and pretended to not be paying attention.  I let the car drift slowly slowly slowly over into his lane.  He was forced to brake, started yelling at me (silently through the glass, the way we all do) and then gunned it and tried to roar up past me.  I drifted over again but faster, forcing him to brake harder.  He yelled even harder, made hand gestures and swerved over onto the shoulder to get past me.

Was it wrong that souring that guy's afternoon made me feel a bit happier?

I have been having such the urge to be in a new band.
Something alt-countryish with sad lyrics to peppy songs.
Something with the word "Fireballs" in the name.
Where do I think I would find the time..?
I've just gotta quit my job...it's the only option...

A while ago, I posted a simple entry about our upcoming fourth child.  There was a small picture of some pretty orange poppies, her due date was the end of January and that she would be named Poppy Jean Speed.

And, that still holds true.


However...


Some very crucial details have come to light...

Namely, the jerky ultrasound doctor may have jumped the gun a bit when pronouncing this baby a 'she'.

(pause for effect...)

Yeah...

The baby just might be a 'he'!

It's still undetermined right now.

So, in the interest of fairness and balance, here's the post you would've seen if we had been told 'boy' those few weeks ago...


Rik, Christina, Boris, Spike and Hella would like to announce the impending arrival of a 6th Speed...
ROYAL SUPER SPEED



Stay tuned for further developments as details become available...

Why does the thought of repeated stabbing with a big rusty knife sound so good right now..?

ALL MY FAILINGS EXPOSED
I have no real discipline.  I've never had any sort of self-control.  I faked my way into straight As throughout school without ever studying, and now it comes to haunt me.  I should be reading textbooks right now...instead I'm making a stupid, anal, Joy Division-themed LJ post...
I'm also very impulsive, especially when it comes to money...put a 20 in my pocket and it'll be gone tomorrow...sigh.
...

A TASTE IN MY MOUTH
Found a new place for Indian food...Bombay Sweets.  The old place (Madras Pavilion) has seemed to really fall off lately, so a change was in order.  Bombay Sweets (isn't that a great name?) is pretty DIY - cafeteria style, serve yourself, get your own damn glass of water...but man is it good.  I can still taste the samosas...mmmm...
...

DESPERATION TAKES HOLD
Damn we need a bigger house!  Top priority after this school semester.  Know any good realtors?  4-5 bedrooms, at least 2 baths (altho 3 would be excellent), a yard, a neighborhood where the kids would be safe, a mortgage of...oh since we're dreaming let's say...$500 a month.  Why the hell not.  Oh yeah...and not in Houston.
...

SOMETHING SO GOOD
That impulsivity I mentioned earlier?  It does make good things possible, too.  Finding a little bit of room on a credit card resulted in me booking a room in a super-fancy hotel downtown for tomorrow night.  I'm gonna treat the missus to some room service, pay-per-view movies, and lots of other nice things grown people do in hotel rooms.  Kids are staying with their favorite aunt and we get to be carefree 'young' adults for a night!  Wahoo!  Maybe we'll even sneak up onto the roof and scream obscenities into the Texas night...
...

CAN'T FUNCTION NO MORE
My knees are really giving out.  When I was a kid, I was hospitalized for several months with pneumonia and what they said was childhood rheumatoid arthritis...later believed to be something called Kawasaki's disease.  It fucks your joints up.  Whenever the weather gets bad, or I am sitting/standing for a while, my knees ache like your grandpa's.  Well, as I get older, they're starting to ache all the time.  The bionic limb replacement technology can not come fast enough.  I'd trade in my regular old legs for hydraulic, jumpin-over-buildings ones in a New York minute...as they say.
...

LOVE
This child burns like a star...and doesn't she look great with short hair..?

...

LOVE WILL TEAR US APART AGAIN
Many bands have done covers of Joy Division songs, mostly sucky, but here's one that's just beautiful...enjoy...
Susanna and the Magical Orchestra
...

Maybe you've already heard about this, but I got way too excited to not record it...

Go to this website and you can make mock-ups of cassette tapes...am I too old that this means so much to me..?

a girl, of course.

POPPY JEAN SPEED
due date: Jan 31 2007